Garry Hill: What are you on mate?

Very few people watching yesterday’s game would disagree that Woking turned in a decent performance. They zipped the ball around and in the end City were fortunate to come away with all three points, but that is exactly what happened.

In the hour after the match the Cards manager Garry Hill did make a bit of a tit of himself with his post match interview and antics. I can only tell you about the barely-coherent responses to sycophantic questioning from their own reporter, but I’m told he involved himself in some unsavoury and unsporting behaviour with not only Danny Cowley, but a few of our officials.

Speaking to a babbling bum-licker on Woking TV, Hill bumbled his way through an embarrassing interview that veered from him looking on the verge of tears, to launching personal insults about Danny.

It started all well enough, Hill spoke of how he felt his side deserved something out of the game. Fair enough, they probably did, but then again had we scored the penalty in the first half we would probably have gone on to record a big win.

The first signs that Hill was descending into madness came as he referred to the crowd of ‘7,000’, giving Lincoln a lot of help. I imagine the level of help was hard to spot, given that 1,500 of the fans were invisible. Maybe they held down Matt Rhead for the penalty?  Or is he suggesting that the crowd (the 5,500 visible and the 1,500 that snuck in) should have been quiet? When you come to a ‘big club’ at this level, you expect to see a few fans getting passionate. You’d know that, had you ever managed a club this size Garry.

He then began to ramble incoherently, and for nothing more than my own amusement I’ve decided to transcript his words as closely as possible.

“I’m disappointed with certain things, with today what have gone on, in respect of certain things on decisions and I’ll have to turn around, as I say, and take a view of that and as I say we have to turn around and be positive, but as I say we are showing some encouraging performances”

There seems to be a lot of turning around there Garry. Bonnie Tyler would be proud. I wonder if every now and then he gets a little bit terrified that you’re never coming round? Maybe.

Hill, when he got home

At the first mention of decisions the sycophantic interviewer immediately asked a leading and ill informed question about the penalty awarded for (the invisible crowd) holding down Rheady in the first half.

“After going 1-0 down to what was a very soft penalty, you’ve immediately bounced back.”

Hang on, they went one nil down to what was a really good header. They bounced back from that, not the penalty! Is this joker even aware of what happened in the match, or is he simply here to serve as Stan Laurel to Hill’s Oliver Hardy? Whatever his purpose is (obviously it isn’t actually talking about real things that happened), Hill didn’t spot the mistake either. The injustice of going 1-0 down to an imaginary penalty was too much too take.

“Yeaaaaah, we’ve bounced back straight away but they’re, you know, they’re, they’ve everything’s going for them at the moment, like, you know, you can’t turn around (bright eyes) and say anything different, they’ve got everything going for them, whatever way, dog, going for them like, you know whatever way you look at it.”

Now I was surprised to see him drop the word dog in there, more so because it appeared to be directed towards an Imps staff member walking past. I think it might have been Ian McCallum. Was he calling Ian McCallum a dog? Or was it just more of the incoherent ramblings of a rabid madman?

Later in his bizarre rant he launched a personal attack on Danny Cowley for heading the ball into the crowd, ‘or at least I think it was his head, might have been his nose’. Odd thing to say from a man who looks like a shaved and saddened cartoon bulldog. Garry Hill is experienced enough to know these things go on, and from what I’ve heard his remonstrating with our management team was particularly unsavoury at the end.

It isn’t surprising though, Hill isn’t an entirely pleasant character himself and in the past it hasn’t been the ball he’s been guilty of heading into the crowd. In September 2007 he chose to use his head to butt Salisbury City player-coach Tommy Widdrington. After a tempestuous game, Widdrington offered Hill his hand for a handshake, when suddenly, Hill headbutted him, making contact with the bridge of his nose. He is reported to have said: ‘You f***ing scum, you lowlife ****. You’re with the big boys now.’ (the big boys being Rushden and Diamonds)

What really surprises me is that Hill managed to say a sentence without turning around, dropping in an ‘as I say’ or calling someone a dog. They must be recent additions to his vocabulary.

For the record Tommy Widdrington played Premier League football for Southampton, Garry Hill played for the big boys, Heybridge Swifts.




  1. Brilliant acerbic stuff. I was about to post something about nutcase managers in this league, but I think you have it taped here!

  2. just something else that is bad in this dreadful league. unintelligent.unintelligible
    ramblings from a man completely in contrast to Danny and Nicky.lets hope that the days of these dinosaurs in football are coming to an end.

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