There is a popular song at the Bank, one with words I’m not 100% sure about.
I do what my Dad did and sing the bits I know, obviously getting some of it wrong. I suspect a lot of the Imps fans feel the same. There are so many songs I don’t know these days. I hear there’s a Varfolomeev one, but I’ll be damned if I could tell you about it. Maybe my hearing is getting bad.
Anyway, the Bruno Andrade Jack Moylan song goes like this:
He runs down the left and the right He makes Lionel Messi look shite It’s time you knew about Jack Moylan He belongs to us, Super Jack Moylan
That got me thinking. Does he make Lionel Messi look like faeces? I appreciate not all songs are accurate, but with Moylan hitting 10 shots against Bolton, the highest individual number of any City player this season, I did begin to wonder if he is putting the best player in world football from the last 20 years in his box (sorry, Ronaldo fans, but I’m not having him over Messi).
Jack Moylan v Lionel Messi
| Stat (per match) | Lionel Messi (2025 MLS) | Jack Moylan (2025/26 League One) |
|---|---|---|
| Goals | 0.96 | 0.47 |
| Shots | 4.65 | 2.68 |
| Shots on target % | 46.5% | 50% |
| xG | 0.66 | 0.28 |
| Dribbles | 6.24 | 4.97 |
| Dribble success % | 53.9% | 54% |
| Touches in penalty area | 3.97 | 3.08 |
Conclusion, he doesn’t make Messi look rubbish, but remember, Messi is playing in a league that is populated with the haves and the have-nots. In a recent game against Cincinnati, Messi came up against Goliaths of the game such as (checks notes) Nick Hagglund and the Brazilian wonderkid Evander, who was allowed to leave FC Midtjylland for less than his release clause. We also have a full season for Messi, while Jack hasn’t finished just yet.
This was just for fun, but actually, I do quite like that Moylan’s stats hold up against Messi, at least the ones I’ve picked (yes, I did stat-farm this article, and I don’t care).
Messi does score more goals, 0.96 per game, compared to Jack’s impressive goal every other game, give or take. However, Jack scores his goals from around half the number of shots Messi has, so their actual strike rate per shot is similar. This season, Messi scores a goal every 4.84 shots, Jack every 5.75 shots, a similar outcome. Jack actually hits the target more as well, 50% of his shots test the keeper, whereas only 46.5% of Messi’s do. Rubbish.
Both players outperform their xG as well, Messi to the tune of 0.3, Moylan by around 0.2. Still comparable, so while our number 10 doesn’t make Messi look poo (which would be hard given he’s the world’s best footballer in the world’s 10th best division (apparently, seems like a case of Trump economics that)), whereas Moylan probably isn’t in the world’s top 1,000 players, he is competing in the 41st toughest division in the world. Levels.
Messi is well known for being great on the ball, but did you know Jack Moylan is better? Fact. This season, Jack has a better dribble success rate than Messi had in the MLS. Messi was a rubbish 53.9%, whereas our Jack smashed him out of the park with a 54% success rate. Lionel, Lionel who?
Messi does have more touches in the area, probably bigger areas in America, like their pool tables with bigger pockets. I’ll give that as a win to Jack as well.
Conclusion
Obviously, there is a tongue-in-cheek element to this article, but the numbers for Jack are quite impressive. He is our Messi, a player able to get on the ball, create something from nothing (megs, right?) and bring teammates into play. Obviously, Messi is one of the world’s best players, but when your numbers stand up, pound for pound, against his at any level, you’re doing something right.
He belongs to us, Super Jack Moylan.
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