It’s time for the third collection of nominees that you, the Stacey West readers, have put forward as the worst Lincoln City signing ever.
Before you scroll down, a repeat of the housekeeping bits that I’ll put on all the group articles.
I’m not attempting to say these footballers were bad; some of them had really good careers, appearing in the top flight, European football and even for their country. What we’re looking for is the worst signing Lincoln City made, based on their arrival and their time here. I urge you to remember that; a player we paid big money for is, by definition, a worse signing than some poor lad we grabbed from Northwich when we were skint. A player who didn’t play at all can’t possibly be a worse signing than one who shipped five goals on his only appearance, can he? I guess that’s for you to decide.
Also, for those saying we shouldn’t focus on negatives, this is actually a positive article. I want people to read some of the players’ names on here and perhaps think on when they call this summer the ‘worst window ever’. It really isn’t, and we’ve had some truly awful signings over the last forty years, which is the time period these players have been pulled from. By the way, if I missed your player, my apologies, but everyone put them on different social media channels, not in the website comments and I really haven’t had the time to scour all the different groups. Also, as much as Chris Sutton boiled my wee as well, he just doesn’t count as he was a manager, not a signing.
If you are a player featured on here, please don’t take offence. Look at it like this; I once worked for a company called Timber Stair Manufacturers. I did it during a time of immense emotional turmoil and I felt I’d given it my best shot. To be fair, I was awful, and I’m sure Dave at the company wouldn’t be as bold as to say so. However, the people I served, those whose stairs I measured, would say otherwise. They’d be right, whatever the circumstances. Nobody is saying you were a bad player, just that when you played for Lincoln, someone felt you were (not necessarily me btw).
Also, some of the nominees just don’t deserve to be on the list! Anyhow, here are the nine players in Group B. To make it fair, I’ve randomised the groups to include players from across different ages. Have a read, and pick the worst at the bottom. I’ll try to do a group per day and only tot up the results at the end of the voting. I’d say ‘enjoy’, but I doubt you will, somehow.
Jamie Hand 26 Games 0 Goals
Jamie Hand played for Chester before us, but had been with John Deehan at Northampton and I think that’s how we got him on board (similar to Ryan Amoo). If I recall, he had a decent debut, then faded to become nothing more than a poor player in a team that slowly fell apart. He reminds me of the collapse in 2007/08, and I guess a lot of people feel the same. After us, he played for Luton, Mansfield and Hayes and Yeading.
Daren Dykes 3 Apps, 0 Goals
There’s been a few nominated on here that I’m not sure about, and I think Dykes is unlucky to be on. He joined on loan, so essentially for free, with little to no expectation or senior experience. Sure, he didn’t really impact the team, but he was a roll of the dice to bolster the squad, ntohing more, nothing less. If you don’t remember him, he can’t have been that bad. Plus, without Daren Dykes, I’d never have written my A-Z book.
Drewe Broughton 31 Apps, 0 Goals
Offered without comment.
Jordan Maguire-Drew 14 Apps, 2 Goals
Possibly another harsh nomination, although I do remember being frustrated with him at the time. He’d been awesome for Dagenham in the year we got promoted from the National League, and I felt sure he’d do the same for us. I think the hype around his arrival meant he felt very disappointing when he eventually got on the field; he just didn’t fit into our style of play, and was left looking a little like a show pony ushered into the Grand National by mistake. Still, we’ll always have those two goals in the Checkatrade Trophy to remember.
Paul Robson 30 Apps, 0 Goals
The former Charlton youngster had previously appeared for Bridlington, Long Island Rough Riders, Crystal Palace Baltimore and Newport County before arriving at Lincoln. Let’s be honest, I’m not sure we expected all that much. Personally, I didn’t think he was that bad if I’m honest, not in the context of when he arrived or who he played with. Mind you, the fact he later appeared for North Ferriby and Scarborough Athletic suggests I’m wrong.
Tom Kilbey 7 Apps 0 Goals
Oh, the memories. Here’s a name that even those with 40 years of watching City will see and wonder who it is. Well, he was more famous for being in Made in Chelsea (or the Essex one, I can’t tell them apart). He came in on loan, played whilst Scott Kerr was sent off into exile, and we went down. After the Imps, he didn’t play professionally again. Tom Kilbey wasn’t a good signing for the club.
Derek Hood 9 Apps, 0 Goals
I’m going to be honest here, I can’t tell you a lot about Derek Hood. He was an experienced midfielder signed by Peter Daniel in 1987 to help shore up the ailing team destined for the GMVC. He played nine times, didn’t score and took part in six defeats. He missed one game before the final day, and in that fixture, we beat the Champions of the division 3-1. Make of that what you will.
Joe Allon 5 Apps 0 Goals
This is a player who, if it weren’t for others in this section, would get my vote. Allon had started out at Newcastle, scored a goal every two-and-a-half games at Hartlepool, scored regularly for Swansea and earned a move to Chelsea in the top flight where he scored on his debut. He later played for Brentford in the First Division, scored a total of 28 goals in 56 league and cup appearances, and hit one every two-and-a-half games in a short stint with Port Vale. We paid £42,500 for him in the summer of 1995 and guess what? Yep, we were the only club he signed for permanently during his career that he didn’t score for. We cut our losses, flogged him to Hartlepool for £40,000, only for him to come back to Sincil Bank and score against us. He’s a legend in the north east and was a great footballer, just not for us.
Tony Daws 54 Apps, 13 Goals
Daws was obviously a disappointment for some, but there are far worse on this list. I know he was;t that prolific, but he hit 13 goals for us, roughly one every four matches, which is better than some strikers. He did bag one in three during his six years with Scunthorpe, and there’s no doubting he was past his best when he came here and suffered with injury, but the worst signing ever? There are strikers on this page alone who didn’t score once.