If My Grandmother Had Wheels: Four Alternative League Tables

“At least we saw a couple of goals, eh?” League

Obviously, as fans, we want to see our team win rather than lose. But I think most fans would also pick any result over week-on-week tedious nil-nil results. At least, that’s been the regular debate on twitter this season after we, umm, spent a lot of time drawing.

Anyway. Can we at least agree goals are good and the more goals the better?

This league is all about that. Pure and total net artistry. It doesn’t matter for or against which team’s fans have seen the most goals this season?

So after the highs (hmm) of the Draws League, unfortunately, City hasn’t done well in this regard. In fact, we are plumb bottom with 94 goals. To be fair we are seventh for goals conceded. So it’s for us really all about the scoring. Plus I do think we deserve a bonus point for being the only team to manage a Goal Difference of exactly zero. 

But there is no getting away from it really. Along with Bolton (98), we are about 10 goals off the “pace” and heavily relegated. Fleetwood (104) and Oxford (105) join us at the bottom.

The top of the table is kind of nonsense really. This was only ever going to be about panning the Imp’s goal-scoring ability. However, surprisingly both Charlton and Burton join Ipswich in joint first (136 goals). Ipswich have had an incredible season in front of goal, scoring 101 in total. They won the goals-scored table by an insane 19 goals.

The Addicks weren’t at the top of either the scored or conceded lists, but they were sufficiently high on both to give a lot of goals overall. Burton on the other hand are there for a very different reason. Despite finishing officially fifteenth and scoring an average number of goals they came second bottom in the conceded table.