This is a bit of an indulgent post, so my apologies.
This weekend, I make my home debut at Sincil Bank, again. I’ve debuted as the mascot (Grimsby, 1998). I’ve debuted as a player (half time of a game against Wycombe, 2009). However, I have not debuted as a commentator.
As a kid, I loved football commentary. Little did I know it, but the very first commentator I ever knew of was John Helm. He was broadcasting on that tragic day in 1985 at Bradford, which is the first memory I have of football broadcasting.
Come the summer of ’86, I was watching football for the first time on the box. Mexico 86 is the earliest World Cup I can recall, and the voices of John Motson and Barry Davies brought the action to life. Brian Moore took me through the 1988 Littlewoods Cup final between Luton and Arsenal, Motty a month or so later with the FA Cup final. I cannot recall the BBC Radio Lincolnshire commentator from the final day against Wycombe, but it was broadcast in full, and I got my Mum to tape the second half. She used a C60, not C90, and it ran out 15 minutes before the end. We’d watch Goals on Sunday, and often, it would be John Helm bringing the action to life, colouring in the players with facts and figures which have become my staple today.
Even then, talking about football was my thing. I’ve always been crap at playing, but commentating? I don’t know if I’m any good, but I love it. I’d play against a wall in the garden, giving running commentary, all on my own. When it rained, I’d use Star Wars figures (and, curiously, figures from a series called Love Boat with flexible knees) to recreate matches.
In 1991, I started something called the Pro Set League, a fantasy league of sorts where my brother and I traded cards, picked teams, and then I made up results so that I won. It expanded when I hit secondary school (same method of predicting matches), but I’d play Emlyn Hughes International Soccer on the Commodore 64 and tape my voice commentating on the games before lending the tapes to the other managers to hear their game commentary. I’d pretend they were simulated, and I’d have all the stats and things next to me. I doubt any of them ever listened.
Yeah, I know, I’m a geek.
In 2017, Chris Bell gave me the opportunity to make my full commentary debut, away at Gateshead in the FA Trophy. It was cold and cramped in the box, but I loved it. If we’d stayed down, I was going to do other matches, but up we came, and with it went the chance of picking up more commentary work. Until now.
A chance remark on social media about the Imps+ service led Luke from the club to ask if I’d like to do this weekend’s fixture with Arsenal Under 21s. I’m excited and terrified in equal measure. I can honestly say of everything I’ve done over the last few years, from live podcasts to big awards nights, this is the one thing I am most excited about. My dream was never to score a winning goal at the Railway End of the Ground (which I have done, just for the record) or net a penalty at Wembley for the Imps (check), but to be in the stands telling others what happened.
It’s a friendly, I get that. It’s an Under 21 side, I understand. I’m unlikely to ever feature as the analyst on BBC Radio Lincolnshire, I get that as well. But, one (hopefully) sunny afternoon in July 2024, I finally get to fulfil a childhood dream. I get to commentate on Lincoln City, at Sincil Bank, for the television.
If you’re an exiled Imp and you’re keen to listen to me watch the game, you can order it here. But go easy on me, because even thinking about it now makes me feel sick!
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